Care-a-Lot

Okay, so remember that kids cartoon The Care Bears? Well if you don't, they are a race of intelligent, huggable, and snuggable super bears that live up in the clouds in a place known as Care-a-Lot. Their sole purpose is to maintain true friendship love on earth and battle the evil NoHeart and his minions and ultimately triumph by spewing some sort of condensed super matter out of their mural-painted bellies, after a specified time countdown, onto their foes ending the half hour of enjoyment. So why the out-of-nowhere reference to this long forgotten cartoon? On December 31st, 2006, I was able to visit Care-a-Lot.








Care-a-Lot (which is known by its real name Genting Highlands) is a Disney type resort 3km up a gondola in the sky. You travel up through the cloudes and emerge looking at a small city on a mountain plateau. The plateau is such that all you see is cloud cover on the edge of the plateau. There are no other mountains or any higher elevations that can be seen. As seen in the above picture, it looks like some sort of floating island in the sky. There was an outdoor amusement park, an indoor amusement park, hotels, casinos and malls all packed together and floating in the sky. We went up in the early afternoon and had a chance to walk around in the malls, have a bite to eat and then take in a Vegas style Illusionist show.



While walking around the indoor amusement park/mall, there were a few interesting things that we saw. For one, my brother and I wanted to see what type of ADD games were available to play at the local arcade. For example, we saw a DDR type game that was a DJ game. It consisted of 5 buttons, a spinning wheel, and a foot pedal. Then, as we watched the demo, realized that this game was not for the feint of heart. You had to spin the disk back and forth at the correct frequency determined by the song, mash the five buttons as they ascend up the screen a la DDR, as well as throwing in a foot pedal here and there. Plus the game was two players. My brother and I stared, mesmorized by the twirling background of colours and the intense pace and concentration that it would take to even get the disk spinning at the right frequency back and forth, let alone tapping your foot and pushing multiple combinations of 5 buttons over and over agin for 3 minutes at a time. Too much at once to think about.


Also in the arcades, there is a giant section devoted to kareoke. Thats right, you can step into one of twenty soundproof booths with a bench to accomodate up to 4 people with two mics, and pay 60cents for each song you would like to sing. Kareoke is really huge over here, but it's unfortunate that I have not had the chance to do any of it as most of everything is in Chinese or Malay and not english in Care-a-Lot.



We went in the evening to a Vegas style show called Mysteria. It was a "story" in ancient Egypt about a run away slave girl and a "mystery man" who would perform some crazy illusions here and there in the story. In between illusions, there was either another act taking place (like Chinese acrobats or a crossbow shooter) or people prancing around in very little clothing. Now the Chinese acrobats and the crossbow lady were very good acts and I was very impressed, but I wasnt too impressed with the prancing and dancing. For one, many of the dancers were bare-chested men in skirts showing off their incredible 6/8 packs as they would twirl and spin and well dance to music to tell a story that made no sense at all. I mean this slave girl just wanted some water and fled the scene when she was about to have her hand cut off. Then she met a man who was able to turn her into a lion on two different occaisions, thrusted swords through her, and then the mystery man used what seemed to be Jedi mind force on some guards as he waved his hand in front of them and they let the two pass. It was a little messed up. The sets were very eaborate and all the stunts matched the scenery and sets, except when they bought out the jet turbine. The mystery man then proceeded to pass through the moving turbine as if the guards who were holding them captive, dared him to do it, thus freeing the two. I'm still a little cinfused as to what I saw, but most of it was good stuff.



One of the most priceless things I saw was a place called SnowLand. It was a giant freezer where locals could PAY to put on a jacket and mittens and enter a place where artificially made snow falls down and take in a little taste of my home town. They look like they are soooo happy inside of that place, if only they knew what it was like. No I did not pay to go in as I heard what goodness befell on our great city that morning.

Thailand

So our family spent 5 days on the exotic beaches of Phuket Thailand. We arrived on the island (no bigger than PEI) on December 23, 2006. We were warned that Thailand is an "interesting" destination to experience, but we were mainly going for the beach. Phuket is a small island, densly populated with Europeans, that is as liberal as any place I have been to in my life. We stayed on Patong Beach which is the biggest beach and the main tourist attraction on the island. Now the beach was unbelievable, and the sun was incredibly hot. My brother and I got burnt really bad on the first day trying to work on our tan, but it was worth it. We not only laid back and soaked up all the glorious sun, we went Jet Skiing on the Indian Ocean and my mom went parasailing. It was amazing to have 700cc of power, skipping over waves hitting speeds of 60kmph over the deep clear blue sea. Below are pictures of myslef taking a break from my new-found hobby crossword puzzles, and Jeremy and I on our way back from an exhilerating half hour adventure on the high seas. There are other pictures, but because the beach was a nude beach, and I agreed to the terms of use on this blog, some of them cannot be displayed here. The only bad parts about a nude beach are that your parents are around and point them out to be funny and the only ones topless are the really older ones. Nuff said.

After beach hours, we would walk along the strip and do a little shopping. Now the thing about shopping in Thailand, is that there are about 300-400 shops set up that each sell the same merchandise. And not just similar merchandise, but the exact same merchandise. I found it hard to do shopping there and thus didnt buy anything, because when you ask how much something is, they tell you a price that is 3 or 4 times the actual price, expecting you to barter. A classic example with my parents would go as follows:

"So what is the price for these coasters" - mom

Sales person pulls out calculator and types out 900 (around 30$CAN) because they dont speak english.

"Oh no no no no ... thats way too much. Whats your BEST offer?"

Sales person punches in 750 ($22).

"No thanks, someone up the road offered it to us for 300 ($10)"

Salesperson, looking nervous thinking they might have a sale at hand, hands the calculator to my mother implying to have her put in an offer she is will to start at.

"300 ($10) is what I'm willing to pay".

Sales person types 400 ($13).

"Nope 300 ($10) is all I'm willing to pay".

"Please Madame ... " in a desperate manner.

"Alright, 350 ($11.50) I'll pay" as the sales person accepts the "generous" offer and puts the coasters in a little plastic bag and accepts the cash from my mother.

As some people remember, on Dec 26th 2004, southeast Asia was hit by one of the world's greatest natural disasters .. the tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people. Phuket was one of the islands that was hit the hardest by these waves and had many of their buildings destroyed and many people killed. Phuket is still trying to rebuild and the citizens are still in great poverty. The reasons I didnt really buy anything, is that I couldnt get the courage up to actually make the poor person who is just trying to make ends meet take such a little profit, thus adding to the problem of poverty in the nation. My mother was able to get the salesperson down from $30 to just over $10. I guess the salesperson was still making money on the coasters at $10 but I just didnt have the time to go through that everytime, and also knowing that I could get the exact same thing 10 feet down the road, at possibly a better price. For a guy, window shopping became impossible, as nothing had prices on it and everone kept on trying to shake my hand and ask me if I wanted a Nike T-Shirt, a tailored Armoni suit, or a Thai-massage? Shopping felt like a chore sometimes there, but the food was always very good.

Here is a picture of our Hotel we stayed in. This is the pool area in the middle of the two complexes. The next picture is taken from the Christmas Eve dinner that was mandatorially put on all the Hotels guests in order to drive up the costs for staying over the peak holidays. There was cold food buffet (thats usuall over in south Asia) and entertainment. This is one of the drag queens that graces our presence during the dinner. It was really awkward. She was like the third act ... people were still eating and little kids were still there ... and then she did something ... she would time to time, pull down here dress and caress her fake breasts. This is really awkward when there is a courtyard of children and parents around and no one is laughing at the apparent humor in the act. Not to mention haveing your parents analyze and re-live the experience with you while you eat roasted duck. Other acts were much much better and included Mui-Thai Kick Boxers, Weapon Martial Arts shows, and a Christian Phillipino Choir that sang us some Christmas carols.

All in all, Thailand is very beautiful and it was fun to go for a trip. But all of the prostitutes, transvestites, and sketchy business going on there, it would wear on me if I stayed there too much. Also, if any of you guys know Dee who was also on the Island, I did not see her. I was really in the resort area and knew she would be elsewhere. I looked for YWAM on the drives to and from the airport, but didnt see anything. So long "Beautiful Thailand, the land of fun" according to the shemales at the Christmas Eve ball.

Y2K?

Well it has been a week and a half since my last post. The following picture will describe what has happened over in this side of the world for the last week.

No, this is not a poor photograph. We have had a virtual blakout in Asia. A week ago, two 7.1 magnitude earthquakes took place in the China Sea and snapped the power and telecommunication cables that connect Asian with North America. Hong Kong was left without any power, while the rest of Asia experienced a virtual blackout. All internet and long distance phone calls were down and the entire population of Asian was operating on several servers, meaning everything was extremely slow ... so much that it would take upwards of ten minutes to load Google Malaysia, a local site. It kind of feels like what we should have experienced in the year 2000. So I have been frustrated myself with the internet, but it seems to be getting better by the day. So as for my trip ... I'll spend the afternoon loading up a bunch of blogs from the last week and a half. So be prepared fo a bunch of postings ... internet allowing ... in a row.

Coconuts and Monkeys

Today I got up early and was able to go golfing with my dad. It was great to get a round in late in December. As mentioned the club house appears to be that of a castle, and the course itself is breathtaking. I will be getting better pictures of the course later, but here is a picture of the clubhouse.

After amorning nine holes, we headed off to a Hindu temple that was built inside of a cave in the hill side. We had to climb 200 some odd stairs to get to the top and inside the cave was their temple with all of their multi-armed-elephant-looking-red-dotted god statues shrined everywhere. It was really neat to see the cave itself and all the detailed sculptures, but I could have done without all the harsh inscense that was burning.

On the giant staircase there were dozens of monkeys all fighting for any food or items that you had in your hands. You were able to buy fruit and flowers to give to the monkeys, which is probably why they live on the staircase. You were able to get right up to them ... but upon seeing the unsterile animals that no doubt had diseases from eating potato chips and drinking pop (I saw a monkey take a can of Sprite from someone), I decided against touching them. Here are some of the better monkey pictures we got.

After playing with the monkeys, we went down for a bite to eat, at which point my brother and I celebrated the warm weather with a freshly cut coconut. The deal was that they cut open a coconut on the spot and give you a spoon and a straw to eat it with, and you give them 60 cents. So even though coconut milk isnt the most refreshing thing in the world to drink, it still makes for quite the exotic drink.

As for the next week, we will be in Thailand on a small resort on an island in the Indian Ocean. I know most people are jealous that I am over in the rain forest and on the beaches for the holiday, but I am still missing snowboarding incredibly much. That is why I am working extra hard to cover up my jealousy of those who are carving up the slopes, which means taking pictures of myself bare-chested, lying on a beach in the hot sun. So you guys can look forward to those in the net couple of days.

Mall/Jungle Excursions

So foar this week, we have been very lazy and done a heck of a lot of shopping during the day. I've told some of you before about the sizes of the malls here, but even though I've seen them before, they still manage to blow me away. I would bet that there are around 12 malls that are as big, if not bigger, than West Edmonton Mall.

These pictures were taken Wed when we were downtown. This mall we were in has over ten floors, and on each floor, there are almost the number of shops that Polo Park has. It's just unreal how much these people like to shop. We are on the third floor looking up in that one. As for the other one ... I just thought the two went together somehow.

The next day (Thursday), we had decided to head into the jungle and visit an elephant sanctuary. I wasnt all too excited in the beginning when we decided to go, but The scenery on the way there was beautiful. I'm not sure if anyone else has really seen the rainforest, but it is just a beautiful thing, and it was expanding as far as the eye could see in all directions. We travelled about an hour into the rain forest and through a small village to the sanctuary. We then watched a video about how the organization rescues wild Asian elephants and relocates them away to the national rain forest park. We then were able to feed the elephants and take a ride around the lot on their backs. The group of tourists then gathered aroud the river that ran through and we all got a chance to ride the elephant in the river where it would lay down, thus send you toppleing into the muddy waters yourself.

This is my dad as he feeds the elephants. Elephants are really amazing creatures, but they dont sound like anything in the cartoons. Mostly they would just let out something that either sounded like a T-Rex from Jurassic Park or some two year old who doesnt know how to blow a trumpet. It was a great experience to get uo close and personal with some of the strangest looking creatures in the world.

As for today ... its 6:40am right now. I am getting up at 7:00 to go golfing with my dad. Make sure to check back tomorrow or the next day to see some pictures of the golf course here. The clbhouse looks like Buccingham Palace.

Hong Kong

Well the big leg is over, now just a four hour hop over to Malaysia. I just want to say that Asian aircrafts are not meant for average sized Canadians. My knees were tight up against the seat in front of me the whole trip.

On the plus side, I did manage to get some sleep to be able to make it through the day here. On the downside, Monday Dec. 18th 2007 will be a day thatI will never be apart of ever. It's wierd because as I am writing this, it is around 6:00pm on Dec.18th, but because of the international Dateline ... I'm pretty sure I had only minutes in Monday until we skipped over to Tuesday. So begs the question ... am I a day ahead of you guys, or a day behind everyone here? See technically I'm a day ahead of you guys, but because I skipped a day, diesnt that make me a day behind in total somewhere? Too much thinking for 9:00 in the morning.

Well my next flight is leaving shortly, I'll try to post some pictures next time. It's too bad I don't have a camera, Hong Kong is beautiful.

PS - I had a good chuckle to myself when the flight atttendent asked if I wanted the beef or pooooorrrrrrk for dinner ... sorry.

The Chewing Gum Joke

Well, what is there to do while sitting alone in an airport for 12 hours. There is only so much that one person can do to keep themselves physically awake ... and so it has come down to two things:

1. Think and ponder about the last few days and nights and ...
2. Come up with a way to extend how long it takes to ponder and think about things.

So how does one extend what one is ponder about? It's simple, create a form of media in which one must communicate their thoughts to a mass audience, forcing them to re-live the events and topics they were pondering over and over again until they become comprehensive to everyone. Thus leadeth to the creation of the first Byrnes blog ever.

And if you were asking yourself what the chewing gum joke is I might as well start off my online journal by clarifying the choice of name:

"Chewing gum is proof that you can have motion without progress"

For some reason the joke came up again, as it always does, and I was the only one laughing as usual. I can still hear Derek in my head asking when's the punchline coming ... oh Derek, just ask Lisa. So now that we have defined the title of the blog, we can move onto other topics, such as the internet in this stupid airport. It keeps flaking out on me and sometimes it is really frustrating. But then i take a step back from my pathetic attempt to kill some time and realize that sometimes having to write the same email/blog entry three or four times is exactly what your looking for when you still have 5 hours to kill after spending all day here. It's sad, but I'm looking forward to being confined in a small chair for 15 hours ... at least I'll be able to sleep.

Let's all raise our glasses and give a toast to being bored and having no-one but your computer to have a conversation with.